Up at Night

I am
remembering
at night,
when there’s time
and quiet.
I let myself feel
what it
would be like
To let myself
be well and full
with you
again

I’ve seen you before

I have felt all of this, every conversation
languishing in the lushness surrounding me,
Unaware
like unworn clothing

It’s natural
by day
normal at best
as best can
At night I let myself feel
you

Forbidden
love
tread my breath

Kept under
lids
My lungs
in little jars
hid
on a shelf
in a cinderblock cellar

I want to delve deep
and breathe bright

I am learning
not to wait
for you to join me
but to head on in
and let you come
when you are
morning